I just don't know if I can bring myself to drink blue wine, especially knowing it's got dye in it. Why do we need blue wine? It would be a little bit like drinking methylated spirits unless you close your eyes.
It was very trendy to have blue hair a while back. I haven't seen many people with blue hair lately but I have seen lots of pink and bright scarlet which personally I think looks better than blue.
When I see women with coloured hair I often wish I had the courage to do something similar. But I'm chicken.
Maybe when I retire I'll go purple or green.
Anyway back to the blue wine. The Spanish are pretty damn good at making wine so it will be interesting to see what reaction the blue wine gets when and if it hits New Zealand shelves.
It never fails to amaze me what people come up with. Take for instance the pamphlet that is often found inside magazines or in your mailbox. You know the one, if you scratch and match three items and make an order you will definitely win one of several prizes.
One might be $20,000, one $1000, one a garnet pendant and one garnet earrings. You can just about guarantee that you get the earrings every time.
Anyway there is everything you could ever want to make your life a little easier inside this pamphlet including a Tomato Cutter with Knife - "Cut uniform slices with absolute ease."
This little devise allows one to ensure that the tomato slices on top of your salad are all exactly the same size which is of course very important because who wants scraggly bits of unevenly cut tomato.
If you are a bit wobbly on your feet try the Foldable Floral Cane, which is sure to "Put a confident spring in your step with the help of this cheery floral design cane." However, I wouldn't put too much weight on it -_ it might just fold on you.
And for the ladies - a magnifying pendant. Yes - forget those beautiful necklaces ladies. The magnifying pendant is the new bling. Just think how smug you will be when you get to a cafe with your friends and they all put on their glasses to read the menu. Not you. You'll be able to lift your pendant up to your eyes and Bob's your uncle - you'll be ordering before your friends have got to the first page. A bit like a monocle I suppose but rather more elegant.
Don't worry chaps there's plenty of amazing stuff for you as well such as the Easy on Twill pants with no "fiddly zips". They might be easy to get on but not sure about being user friendly. There could be a few, shall we say, accidents during the day.
Want to make a toasted sandwich but don't have one of those fancy toasted sandwich machines? No problem now you can get toast bags. Made from coated Teflon you just make your sandwich put it in the bag and pop it in the toaster. Now why didn't I think of that?
And let's not forget the cat. Wouldn't your pampered moggie just love a window seat? Well now they can have one. A window mounted cat seat allows your beloved cat to sit in the sun inside safe from nasty dogs.
But the prize for the most outrageous invention of late goes to the makers of VIPoo.
Never leave home without this ladies and gentlemen although I'm not quite sure where gentlemen will carry it.
Ladies can of course pop it in their bag. No more worrying about leaving nasty smells behind you with this handy little spray.
What next!
Linda Hall is assistant editor of Hawke's Bay Today
