Linda Hall: Having it all ... yeah, right!

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Warning: Blokes probably shouldn't read this.

For years now I think PMT has been getting the blame for a lot of things that are not necessarily its fault.

There's a new bad boy on the block that should be taking the rap: PWT (Post Work Tension).

Since women have moved back into the workforce in droves, PWT has been growing all over the world.

It goes something like this: Mum picks up the kids from daycare at 5pm. The four-year-old and two-year-old are tired and grumpy after a day of being good little people, playing nicely and talking nicely to other children as well as the adult caregivers.

Within minutes they are squabbling in the car and demanding Mum's attention. Mum smiles and says "When we get home darlings - I'm driving, I can't look."

When she gets home there's the washing to get in, tea to cook (if she is super-organised maybe the crockpot has done most of the work already), kids to bath and, if there are older kids in the house, homework to help with.

So far so good. Mum is coping. She, too, is tired after a day being nice to everyone at work. In walks Dad, greets the children and Mum - all is still fine and dandy.

Then Dad looks in the crockpot and says: "Is that really what we are having for tea?" Wham - PWT explodes into the room.

Or the phone rings and Dad says: "Can you keep the children quiet while I take this call?" PWT rips through the house as Mum tells Dad to "go somewhere quiet" and she probably doesn't mean the bedroom.

What is really amazing about this condition is that unlike PMT which affects only women, PMT can strike men - not as badly but I have heard of some cases where men get home from work and have to sit down and watch television with a beer in hand before they can cope with anything else.

All jokes aside, the roles of parents have changed dramatically in the past 30 or 40 years. Men have become more hands-on and parents, both Mums and Dads, have learnt to juggle children, careers, friends and extended family.

I think working mothers, those with and without partners or husbands, put a lot of pressure on themselves sometimes because they feel guilty for leaving their children while they work. I remember how I felt when I dropped my daughter at playcentre and she would scream her head off as I headed for the gate. It's not a nice feeling.

Some have no choice but to work, others do it because they love it. It really doesn't matter why you work.

But it's not easy. Children are demanding little creatures and when they have been away from Mum and Dad all day all they want is some attention.

I find it hard enough coming home at 5pm to a cat meowing constantly around my feet, wanting to be fed, while I'm grabbing washing and peeling vegetables. Mr Neat has had to deal with a blast or two of PWT, but then so have I.

So, to all you working mums out there: next time you feel the tension building, blame it on PWT. Oh and there is a cure ... a night out with your girlfriends.

• Linda Hall is assistant editor at Hawke's Bay Today.