Convicted triple murderer Lauren Dickason has penned a letter to her supporters from the forensic psychiatric unit where she is being held, thanking them for their love and support “in this difficult time”.
And the 42-year-old revealed she sleeps every night with soft toy bears made from the clothing of the daughters she smothered to death in their Timaru home in 2021.
Dickason systematically smothered the children to death - just weeks after emigrating to New Zealand - after an unsuccessful attempt at strangling each of them with cable ties.
Dickason admitted killing the children but pleaded not guilty to three charges of murder, mounting a defence of insanity or infanticide.
She maintained that she was so mentally disturbed at the time of the offending that she could not be held fully responsible.
However, after hearing exhaustive evidence from Dickason, those closest to her and a number of experts a jury found Dickason guilty of murdering all three children.
Dickason will be sentenced by Justice Cameron Mander to three life sentences - expected to be served concurrently - on December 19.
During her trial it was confirmed she remains under intense monitoring due to her risk of suicide, and is heavily medicated.
Justice Mander has ordered a number of mental health and other reports about Dickason’s condition so he can ascertain where she should serve her sentence - or at least where she should start serving her time.
During her trial, her mental illness - a major depressive disorder - was not in question.
Under New Zealand law Dickason must serve her sentence here and returning to South Africa would not be an option until such time - if ever - she is granted parole.
If she is released she may be deported.
After the verdict was read in court Dickason’s parents issued a statement.
In it they said postpartum depression was “a terrible thing” and that had been shown by what happened to their family.
“This was not our daughter, but a debilitating mental illness which resulted in an awful tragedy, the details of which you are by now well aware,” they said.
“Our beloved Lianè, Karla and Maya were taken from this life to another as a result of this crippling disease.
“There are no winners in this tragedy.
“We would like to encourage families and individuals around the world to be aware of the symptoms of post-partum depression as early as possible, both for yourselves as well as close family and friends around you.
“If treated early and managed correctly, people can experience a full recovery. The person experiencing depression and those closest to them may not be able to recognize the signs or how serious postpartum depression can become.”
During the trial defence experts said Dickason was in the grips of postpartum depression when she killed the girls.
But Crown experts refuted that, saying while she was certainly experiencing depression after the births of Lianè and the twins, the bouts were reoccurrences of the major depressive disorder Dickason was diagnosed with at 15.
The King v Lauren Anne Dickason - the Crown and defence cases
The Crown’s case was Dickason murdered the children in a “calculated” way because she was frustrated, angry and resentful of them.
It acknowledged Dickason suffered from sometimes-serious depression, but maintained she knew what she was doing when she killed the girls.
The defence argued Dickason was a severely mentally disturbed woman in the depths of postpartum depression and did not know the act of killing the children was morally wrong at the time of their deaths.