Jacoby Poulain: Patience in the face of tragedy

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

The sudden deaths of two teenage girls have occurred in the past week or so in Flaxmere.

Considering the sensitive and delicate nature of the matter and the fact we have grieving families and a grieving community, it was with much hesitation that I sat yesterday morning deliberating about whether or not I should comment on this issue in this week's column.

The reason I have chosen to comment is multi-faceted.

These reasons being that the news has already broken on a local and national level, people need to address it and our families and community need respect and help.

The news has broken. Many people would prefer it to have stayed under wraps and I even understand this desire.

We have grieving immediate and extended families and a community that is hurting.

Often the last thing wanted in the process of grieving and healing is an intrusion of outside forces, perspectives and analysis that picks and pecks away at the situation doing nothing more than adding more pressure, stress and strain.

This is unwarranted and unneeded.

On the flipside though, I believe it is healthy, and necessary, at times to talk. Often having the issue opened up can lead to positive outcomes and initiatives.

Volatile and highly charged emotions that are pent up over an extended period of time are cause for explosion.

Releasing this tension bit by bit through discussion and support helps alleviate the pressure and burden and assists with the healing process.

Families and Flaxmere are at a crossroads at this time of balancing the needs of privacy and respect for the immediate with the need to address the longer-term situation which will involve discussion and wider community support.

We have a community and Facebook calling for the establishment and advancement of a vast range of initiatives and mechanisms designed to address the situation and prevent similar happenings in the future.

A community meeting or similar is being called for and frustration even rising with the seeming lack of progress establishing such.

What I would like to say on this front is firstly an enormous thank you and commendation to the community who are so passionate and willing to support where they can.

What I also ask for respectfully is patience on this front.

I do wholeheartedly support community-wide addressing of this situation now and into the future however "ma te wa", or in my interpretation the time will come, or there's a time and a place for everything.

Right now, the families need support and respect in this time.

Our priorities should be with them, as they should be with the immediate protection and safety of our youth and balancing all of this.

We have agencies throughout Hawke's Bay convening and meeting together to co-ordinate and develop support structures and services for the families, staff, students and community.

These things do take time and sensitivity to come together but I assure you we are all working and trying and together we can do much.

Jacoby Poulain is a Hastings District Council Flaxmere Ward councillor and a Hawke's Bay District Health Board member.