Jacoby Poulain: Balance the key to parenthood

Women are more burdened in that both working in the professional world and caring for a private household is generally not only permitted but expected.

I'm six months pregnant. Normally I'd like to be a little more subtle with such personal information, however with a baby bump leading the way and growing by the day it's not such a discreet affair any longer. I've found that with the baby bump comes comments, with comments comes considerations and with considerations a whole lot of confusion at times.

With baby on the way, with gentle and not so gentle swaying from both my personal and professional network, people have encouraged me to ease up on the professional life and indulge in the home life. Then there's the other brigade where I'm encouraged to continue, ramp up even, the professional life with baby in tow, and why not, it is 2013, where women can do anything, right?

It's really got me grappling with the role of women in today's modern day NZ society and equally the role of our men also and, with the Labour Party's recent policy of a women MP quota, gender equality issues are in the spotlight again.

I am pro women, but feminism has produced some disturbing consequences in some parts of our society. Women are more free, yes, but also more burdened in that both working in the professional world and caring for a private household is generally not only permitted but expected now.

One may argue that economic necessity drives the majority of women into the workforce in that a two-income household is needed these days to get anywhere. I find that rationale very valid and real in today's economic climate, however, like the chicken and the egg scenario, what came first? Was it that housing prices and costs of living suddenly became higher so women needed to work, or was it that women started working thereby creating two income households, an increase in the circulation of money and thus the costs of living and inflation rose subsequently? Whether it was the chicken or the egg, all I know is that seemingly a generation or so ago it was more feasible and mainstream for a house to be affordable and maintained on a single income, sadly this is not so much the case today.

Before one burns their bra in retaliation of my arguably archaic sentiments, let me assure you that I, out of all people and with the news of my pending arrival, was the first to protest at the thought of this as the sole direction of my life to the detriment and exclusion of any outside working world. I fully intend to continue serving my professional roles responsibly and diligently. Work for me has never been about the money as much as it has been about significance, meaning and contribution achieved and applied. I also intend to fully engage and do justice to one of the most meaningful and important roles of my life - that of motherhood. For some motherhood is their sole occupation and rightly so where they find meaning. For me it's about balance, sacrifice, compromise, meaning, importance, priorities and recognising what's really important.

We need women in the working world. Men are admirable and formidable but decisions and the working world would be skewed without women. We need mothers at home too. We also need men in the working world, and fathers at home. Women are nurturers, carers and encouragers so naturally they love to see their husbands and men excel in the world - they also love to have them at home being a strong role-model and support for them, their household and children. Never underestimate the power of a man who is present.

Jacoby Poulain is a Hastings District Council Flaxmere Ward councillor and a Hawke's Bay District Health Board member.