Yet teeth, some especially so, are things of wisdom: they're telling us we're lazy.
The relief of former evolutionary pressures has no doubt made us fat, while these blitzers are symptomatic of our fast-paced, sedentary existence.
My family went to Black Barn's Growers' Market on Saturday and came away with croissants, coffee, fruit, vegetables and herbs. A busy weekend notwithstanding, I wasn't in the least bit tempted to puree the items. No one is that time poor.
Modern intelligence should, of course, be celebrated. Both the advent of orthodontia and the development of language has successfully altered our species' toothed landscape and lifestyle.
Hence the paradox. Today's teeth indicate we're less savage, but they also suggest we're less civilised, drowning in the pace, drowning in another smoothie.
There'll be no magic blitzer for me. While I'm partial to a liquid lunch, I can't process a future in lieu of the chew.