I'm with Jesus.
Not in the spiritual sense mind you, but I do share a Christ-like apathy for retail.
The one and only biblical instance where Jesus used physical force, involves retailers.
In a genuine case of losing his rag, he manhandled "moneychangers" and upturned their cash registers in a temple.
I mention this not because I subscribe to the literal truth of the Good Book, but because it underlines the obvious: Religion and retail don't play nicely.
Retail was, and still is, a secular endeavour.
Conjecture surrounding our Easter trading laws only underscores this.
Department of Labour inspectors pinged six Hawke's Bay moneychangers defying Easter trading regulations.
A total of six doors for both Good Friday and Easter Sunday opened for business.
Recidivist offenders once again staunchly defended their decision to trade. The dulcet tones of ringing tills, they claim, indicates big consumer demand.
I say that's a tad disingenuous.
This isn't demand shopping; it's opportunistic.
As I bike past my local supermarket, which I do most days after work, I'm often tempted to grab a bite to eat or a bottle of plonk. If I'm too late and it's closed, I amble by without another thought.
Some label such laws based on religion "archaic".
Today's separation of church and state makes this hard to argue.
But the fun doesn't stop there. Offending retailers will then be prosecuted through common laws of our judiciary.
This itself, whilst now a secular institution, was founded on a Christian belief system.
What a heady mix of irony and insanity.
The retailers and I agree with one thing: The law as it stands is an ass. As is its maximum penalty of $1000.
Legislative changes should ensure flouting this law is not just risky, but untenable.
I'd like to ramp it up even further. If it were up to me, I'd insist all retailing be banned during each public holiday. Kiwis already work onerously long hours.
Any excuse to spend time recalibrating should be embraced.
Offending retailers simply force competitors into committing the same breach.
If there's any demand, it's one retailers have created, and could just as easily stem.
It's incredibly difficult to see any clear and present dividend in our increasingly rampant consumerism.
Anzac Day, a week from now, would be an ideal time to begin a new chapter. Employees, bosses and their families can only benefit.
I'd argue the decision to close will open things up.
By about 2pm, police determined the package posed no threat.