Editorial: Is the right decision the right one?

The medical advice on pregnant women drinking is pretty clear - they should not take the chance.

Foetal Alcohol Syndrome is not to be trifled with, so to avoid the risk, simply don't drink while pregnant.

Most people know this and I would hazard a guess that many women abide by this because they want their unborn child to have the best start in the world.

However, like most things to do with pregnancy and childcare, it is a topic of significant interest. That is why it was not surprising that a huge row has broken out over the story of an Auckland waitress who refused to serve a pregnant woman a glass of wine on a night out with her husband to celebrate their wedding anniversary.

Nichola Hayes and her husband Michael were having a rare night out just weeks before she is due to give birth to the couple's second child.

They chose Mac's Brewbar at the Nuffield Street Trading Company in Newmarket, Auckland where Mrs Hayes asked for a glass of wine with pizza while her husband opted for beer.

But Mrs Hayes was "completely flabbergasted and embarrassed" when a waitress denied her service on the basis of her pregnancy.

This is where the issue becomes slightly tricky. When does a stranger have the right to tell another adult what to do?

She was not intoxicated or causing a disturbance, so was not breaching any alcohol laws. It is not the same as an adult striking a child or a young child not been buckled up in a car seat. Those are laws of the land and if you transgress you should accept and be punished accordingly.

However, a pregnant woman drinking is different because ultimately it is her choice, even if it is the wrong choice. I certainly would not have been comfortable telling Mrs Hayes, who by all accounts is a normal citizen of society, what she should or should not be doing with her body and child.

I think it is admirable that people care enough to get involved but there is a time and place. You sometimes hear stories of old people laying dead in their flats for weeks and you wish someone had got involved and looked for them.

Frankly this is a story where both sides are equally as unpleasant as the other but if we take away the right to individual choice, we have a society that would not be very appealing to live in.

Sometimes people simply have to live with the consequences of their actions.