Editorial: Hacking our way around Kidnappers

"How about a round of golf", said my friend visiting from Auckland.

Sure thing, I replied, and suggested the public course at Maraenui."

"I was thinking of Cape Kidnappers", he said.

To which I spluttered that we were neither American squillionaires or Japanese captains of industry. In fact we could hardly even be considered golfers.

The last round we played together was more than two years ago at a public course in Auckland which we shared with a family of 10 Samoans, only some of who were actually playing and who were overseen by a large mama being shaded from the sun by a boy holding an umbrella.

What made him think we could tackle Cape Kidnappers?

"Mate, you worry too much," he said. "I'll shout you the round. Early birthday present."

How could I refuse.

So yesterday, on what was pretty much a perfect Hawke's Bay day, we drove through the gated splendour of The Farm at Cape Kidnappers and on to the clubhouse of one of the finest golf courses in the world.

Our wholly other-world experience began when we were greeted by not one but three handsome chisel-chinned young American men with Ivy-League accents.

"Welcome to Kidnappers gentlemen. Will you be requiring a hamper on your round?"

"Nah, bro, we'll get some chips at half time."

I'll spare you the pain of a hole-by-hole description of our round but suffice to say that at tee No1, my ball went left into the long grass and his went right into the long grass.

We spent much of the round acting like those beaters they have for pheasant shoots, bashing the long grass with our golf clubs to find our lost balls.

We lost so many balls we even had to mount a commando-style raid on the practise range, crawling on our bellies to the edge of the range and pocketing some extras. To avoid embarrassment, we first checked that there were no American squillionaires or Japanese captains of industry watching.

We needed those extra balls. Both of us finished the 18th hole on our very last ball. Me for 109. My mate for 108.

It was a peerless day, an unforgettable experience at a truly magnificent cliff-top course with sweeping views of Hawke Bay.

My advice: Get a mate to shout you a round.