Horse & Hound reporter is one role for which I have never qualified.
Like Hugh Grant in pursuit of Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill, I am hopelessly out of my depth when it comes to equine matters.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I was coaxed on to a horse while on holiday in Queenstown. The experience was such an eye-opener that I still remember that horse's name.
Mounting Franco, I was suddenly struck with the distance between myself and the ground. He was the biggest horse on the trek that day, and he had his own agenda from the start. It took a while to part him from the feed trough.
But as we trotted through the countryside I began to enjoy my relationship with the old fellow, while laughing at a Japanese tourist being pulled through scrub on the side of the track by her mount.
Towards the end of the outing, the guide asked a few of us if we would like to canter home. Suitably buoyed, I agreed to take on the challenge. As we neared the stables, the pace quickened - Franco was racing back to the trough. Then, inexplicably he dug in and came to an absolute stop.
How I managed to avoid being catapulted down a bank I will never know. What I remember was holding on to Franco's neck still firmly in the saddle, my eyes directly staring into his big left eye. Agreeing upon a draw, he then allowed me to ride him home.
It was the first and only time I have actually ridden a horse, but it was enough to give me appreciation for the courage and skill of those who participate in equestrian. Human and horse working together at breakneck velocity is nothing but a spectacular sight.
Hawke's Bay is fortunate to host the annual extravaganza, Horse of the Year, which officially started at the Hawke's Bay Showgrounds yesterday. Touted as "a celebration of all things Equestrian" it is a mind-blowing event for its sheer scale - 2600 horses, 1800 riders, performing in 28 arenas. And it's always a crowd pleaser, with 70,000 people expected to attend.
Hawke's Bay Today sponsors this Friday night's Equestrian Extravaganza, which is always a fun family night out before the weekend's serious competition.
Not everything goes to plan, but that is part of the attraction of the human-horse relationship.
Any good Horse & Hound reporter knows that.