Horse & Hound reporter is one role for which I have never qualified.
Like Hugh Grant in pursuit of Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill, I am hopelessly out of my depth when it comes to equine matters.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I was coaxed on to a horse while on holiday in Queenstown. The experience was such an eye-opener that I still remember that horse's name.
Mounting Franco, I was suddenly struck with the distance between myself and the ground. He was the biggest horse on the trek that day, and he had his own agenda from the start. It took a while to part him from the feed trough.
But as we trotted through the countryside I began to enjoy my relationship with the old fellow, while laughing at a Japanese tourist being pulled through scrub on the side of the track by her mount.