In these contests, you were one of our country's best. But the sport is only one aspect of life and it is in the broader sphere of our human existence that you have again emerged as a hero, not as some puffed-up icon with hidden feet of clay but as a real man, injuries apparent, soul bared to the nation once again. However this time there are no tears of self-recrimination.
The injured child has grown into the man. The hurt has been replaced by the steely but loving resolve to make a difference. The indiscriminate anger has been turned to purposeful change-making.
This is leadership, Norm, and I know that your profound truthfulness and preparedness to speak out and stand up will encourage many of my brothers and others throughout the country to follow your lead.
Our nation has a problem with domestic violence and especially violence towards our children. Our response has been angry marches and a call for even harsher punishments, as if even further brutality will bring us to our senses.
Your way forward, based on the principles and values of E Tu Whanau, is in stark relief because it promotes potential rather than pathology, and seeds hope and redemption.
Last night's programme, Norm - wow! I'm still processing it. That process of reconciliation and forgiveness between you and Manu was reality TV, not the crap we are dished up with but real visceral stuff. You couldn't script it.
The two of you, Manu and yourself, have left me with the message that we all have the power of choice, the responsibility to stand up and speak out, and the obligation to continually reflect on our own actions and behaviours.
Your mum put her finger on one part of the challenge when she was consoling your dad over his own brutalising experiences, which were then visited upon you and her alike. She said something along the lines of: "It happened. We know that, but if we talk about it you will feel better."
It's such a simple but wise proposition. That's mums for you. Right now as I write these words I feel buoyed by your projection of aroha, your demonstration of the manly request for forgiveness and its humble receipt.
If the men of this nation can populate the best rugby team in the world then let us also become known as the best men in the world: the best dads, best husbands and best brothers.
Let this be a land where our whanau are safe because our warriors are gentle to our women and children, yet unflinching in holding each other to account, though as you might guide us, with love brother, with love.
- Denis O'Reilly is a community "resultant" with 40 years in multiple areas of social issues resolution.
- Views expressed here are the writer's opinion and not the newspaper's. Email: editor@hbtoday.co.nz
