Ngaro Hape secretly battled depression for years, without telling a soul.
A decade on from the self-proclaimed darkest time of his life, Ngaro has given the highest praise to the man who intervened and saved
Ngaro Hape (left) was helped through his depression by close friend Trev Hall. Photo / Warren Buckland
Ngaro Hape secretly battled depression for years, without telling a soul.
A decade on from the self-proclaimed darkest time of his life, Ngaro has given the highest praise to the man who intervened and saved him.
The Hastings man, who spiralled into depression after the breakdown of his 23-year marriage in late 2009, found solace from a well-known face.
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Trevor Hall, or just Trev to his close friend Ngaro, won the hearts of the nation as he walked away victorious on TVNZ's Great Kiwi Bake Off.
But 10 years before his on-screen baking success, the humble man from Havelock North cooked up a plan to help a friend in need.
"I had a wife, a house, kids, a good job and to lose those elements knocked me," Ngaro said.
"I didn't think there would be a tomorrow sometimes.
"I tried to hide the hurt from myself, as well as others around me."
Ngaro was forced to go on sickness benefits as a result of the proceedings, which hit home his financial woes.
"Going from good money to not even half of that really affected me. By the time I paid my rent and power, I only had $38.20 left for food, which I left for my kids which I had every second weekend.
"My pantry looked full to anyone who may open the door, but what they didn't know was it was only empty packaging."
After Trev turned up at Ngaro's home on an unsuspecting quiet afternoon for a cup of tea, Ngaro wasn't even able to offer him that.
"All I could get him was water," Ngaro said. "To be quite honest I felt really embarrassed.
"As Trev got to the door to leave he said 'thanks for the cup of tea mate' and pointed at the water. I felt really stink."
But, an hour later Trev, alongside wife Cheryl who Ngaro used to work with, turned up at his home once again – this time, to stage an intervention.
"I asked what they were doing here and Cheryl then said to me 'you can either help us, or get out of the way'.
"They then proceeded to carry in bag after bag of food from the supermarket. From frozen chips, veggies, fruit, cereals, and chocolates for my kids - there were so many bags."
Ngaro said he remembers wanting to cry after receiving a pat on the shoulder from Trev, letting him know "it's okay bro, we're here for you".
"I remember Trev pulling out a packet of tea bags and said 'I'll have that cup of tea now bro'. The pat on the back from Trev just blew me away.
"Then he walked to the car and came back with Christmas presents for me and my kids."
The moment will always live in the memory of the then 42-year-old Ngaro.
"What do you say to that? How can you repay people in your life that show love and respect, when you yourself have nothing to give.
"I'll be and have been forever thankful. I will never forget his voice saying 'I will have that cup of tea now bro'."
After the intervention, the former forklift driver at McCain Foods began working with psychologists to begin his journey to recovery.
Despite his initial fear, therapy led to a new fulltime job at wellbeing organisation Te Taiwhenua o Heretaunga.
"The words psychiatrist, psychologist scared me," he said. "I couldn't understand what they were all about. But, they explained it how I could understand.
"Six months into treatment, the organisation offered me a job."
Ngaro added: "I am proud of the work I do helping others. And I am proud to have a loving partner who is beside me all the time."
During his time on TVNZ's Great Kiwi Bake Off, Trev even made a cake in honour of his close friend.
"The cake Trev made in my honour in the first show didn't turn out as planned, but just as he did those years ago, he wanted to show the support he gave to me and my kids at the time," Ngaro said.
"Trev is known on TV as a humble man and he sure is. They are a really supportive and happy couple. Through their actions, they showed me that people do care."
Trev's acts of kindness didn't stop there, as he invited Ngaro to give a presentation on mental health and depression in Gisborne.
"When we returned, Trev pulled out a sum of money to say thank you," he said.
"It was my pleasure to put the money back in his shirt pocket and say 'I've been waiting nine years to show my gratitude Trev. I can't take your money - my gift to you from me.'
"I in turn have helped a lot of people since that day in December 2009. Through the support from Trev, Cheryl and other cool people, I can show them that you can go from a darkness, to a tomorrow."
If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.
OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE:
• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
'They even took the zero alcohol beer!'