Dannevirke: Shock over unchanged limit on funeral numbers

Families have been denied an important part of the grieving process with funeral and tangi numbers remaining at 10. Photo / File

Dannevirke funeral directors are shocked and devastated at the announcement that the number of people attending a funeral or tangi under alert level 2 will remain at 10.

During level 4 lockdown no funerals or tangi could be held but under level 3 up to 10 people were allowed to attend. Under level 2 the Government decided to keep to that number.

Tracey Friend of Tararua Funerals and Leah Kelly-Frith of Kelly Funeral Home were devastated at the news yesterday.

Friend said she was hoping funerals would be able to be attended by up to 100 people as that was the indication that had been given following submissions to the Government by the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand (FDANZ).

"Even though the decision not to allow up to 100 people was made, the least they could have done was to allow immediate family," Friend said.

"Having just 10 people makes it too hard. Who do you ask?"

While she understood the need for bars to reopen, she felt it was unfair that only 10 people could gather at a funeral, but groups of 10 could gather at bars.

"At least a funeral is a controlled environment."

Friend said the lockdown had been affecting a lot of families and it was heart-breaking to see.

"Healthy grieving is not happening. I have had several women living in Melbourne who had lost their fathers during lockdown but they couldn't come home. It's so sad to hear them sobbing down the phone."

Kelly-Frith said she was devastated for the families who were in the process of planning funerals and were hoping to be able to get together under level 2.

"I understand the reasoning behind the Government's decision, but there has been so much consultation with the FDANZ and that doesn't seem to have been taken into consideration."

She said it seemed that the Government didn't trust funeral directors to have all the necessary hygiene and safety practices in place.

"Ten people at a funeral is nothing. How do we make the decision as to who can go? Most families have more than 10 in their immediate family."

She had thought that the limit could have been set at 25 or even up to 50 people.

Kelly-Frith said throughout the lockdown the hardest thing was that the guidelines hadn't been clear and there was contradictory information from the Ministry of Health and the official Covid-19 website.

"There have been lots of little things that are unclear. One group said the 10 people included the funeral director and the celebrant while the other said they were as well as the 10 mourners."

She said it was lucky that Tararua families understood the situation, but ultimately they had been robbed of a funeral service and that time of grieving.

"A lot of families have planned memorial services, but it's not the same."

She said Dannevirke was a small community and most people knew each other and their families.

"Funerals are well-attended as there's a shared history."

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern yesterday cited physical contact as the reason for leaving the limit at funerals to 10.

While Kelly-Frith said there were a lot of hugs, kisses and tears shared at a funeral there is extremely close contact on the sports field, but that is being allowed.

"We can jump up and down and make a fuss, but at the end of the day the Government has made its decision and that is going to be really hard to change. The FDANZ has been trying to bring about changes over the last four or five weeks."

In the meantime it was a waiting game.

"This is a time that will go down in history. We have done our best through a difficult time."

Kelly-Frith said the Government had succeeded in minimising the spread of Covid-19.

"It's amazing that a country of 5 million has been able to prevent a high number of deaths, even though the toll of 21 is heart-breaking."

Moving forward she said families will still be cared for.

"Delayed grief will surface because families have not been able to have a meaningful farewell which allows people to grieve and grieve together. But be will be there to pick up the pieces."

A statement from the FDANZ said it was led to believe 100 people would be allowed at funerals under level 2 and called upon the Government to reverse its decision and "show the kindness and compassion New Zealanders expect."