Craig Cooper: Ban fireworks but keep celebrating Guy Fawkes

A massive guy about 6m tall and made up of pallet wood on the beach at Te Awanga in 2020, ready to be lit. Photo / Warren Buckland

Each year we sell dangerous explosives to people we wouldn't trust with a gun, to celebrate what?

The historic reasons for celebrating Guy Fawkes night on November 5 have very little to do with the modern-day event.

There's a strong argument that Guy Fawkes night has only survived because modern-day men retain some form of genetic connection to their roles in the Paleolithic (caveman) period.

Despite centuries of evolution, men like lighting fires and things that go "bang".

We do not care about the political plight of Guy Fawkes. But should we?

Fawkes was a villain, guilty of treason.

Tortured before his trial and hanging, he apparently leapt to his death to avoid the noose.

Upon his death, he was "drawn and quartered" as was the custom back then, for his part in a 1605 plot to blow up Parliament and kill King James.

Driftwood stacked on Marine Parade in anticipation of Guy Fawkes night. Photo / Warren Buckland

Over time though, the court of public opinion concluded that Fawkes' feisty resolve when he was tortured, and his general anti-establishment-ness, helped turn the dial on how he was regarded, from zero to "hero".

He has since been described as a symbol of political anarchy, a folk or action hero and an icon.

Perhaps herein lies the reason we have not doused the flames on bonfire night, fireworks or Guy Fawkes.

It would be easy to somehow align Guy Fawkes night with colonialism, if only because it is a quaint British tradition imposed upon the locals when the English arrived in New Zealand.

We are fond of saying the English introduced religion. And syphilis.

But with them also came non-religious traditions such as Queen's Birthday weekend, and Guy Fawkes.

Imagine, for a moment, an English person explaining to a local Māori why a bonfire was being lit and the neighbours were coming round for a few drinks with their kids.

It's not hard to imagine the locals nodding their appreciation of Fawkes' deeds, in trying to overtake the Government.

As a protester, Guy Fawkes was the OG.

Where the argument for maintaining our annual celebration falls down is the mode of celebration.

Fireworks are to guns what boats are to cars.

Sales restrictions are soft, and any idiot can take charge of them under the influence of alcohol.

There might be an argument that Guy Fawkes is a tradition close to anti-establishment hearts, and in 2021, there are a few of those beating in New Zealand.

But annually, the out-of-control fires, fire service callouts and injuries (to humans and animals) are needless.

We should celebrate with controlled fires, and ban the sale of fireworks.

This past week, farmers have celebrated the wet weather, it's been "good rain".

So have firefighters. Let's hope it doused some idiotic Guy Fawkes behaviour as well.