Central Hawke’s Bay Parenting Support Services can help parents with traumatised children

Children have been impacted by seeing their homes and schools flooded.

Central Hawke’s Bay Parenting Support Services is sharing advice on how you can support your child through a traumatic event.

Traumatic events are sudden and unexpected. When they happen to us, we feel scared, distressed, shocked and overwhelmed. Our children feel 10 times worse. They see the damage surrounding them; they feel your worry, your concern, your emotion. They hear words and half-sentences and connect them together to make sense of what has just happened.

As a parent, you might see your children’s behaviour and emotions change.

They might feel confused, anxious, angry, sad, worried, or maybe even guilty.

They might react different than they normally do. They might be quick to anger, withdrawn or restless or have sleeping problems. They may not want to be seperated from you or be able to do things they could do before. They might wet their bed, or have difficulty concentrating.

They might have a physical response and develop stomach aches, headaches or a loss of appetite.

You can support your child with 4 ‘R’s:

• Stick with their normal daily Routines. This gives children safety and security. They know what is going to happen, they know what is expected and they will get a sense of life being ‘back to normal again’.
• Reassure and Reflect. Reassure your children that it’s okay to be afraid, but they are safe now. Reflect with your child: “That was scary wasn’t it? I felt scared too, I was worried too, for you and for Dad, but we are all okay and we are safe now.” Name the things you are grateful for, and end on a positive note.
• Respond to your child. Watch for clues that they want to talk. Be there and listen reflectively: “You look like you are scared, it’s okay to be scared. Would you like to tell me about it? Is your teddy scared/sad? Do you think a hug might help teddy...?”

In our recent case of rivers overflowing - take them to the stopbank and show them the work that is being done to make the stopbank higher to prevent future overflowing of rivers, and reassure them houses are cleaned and rebuilt, infrastructure is being rebuilt etc.

We are currently developing a children’s support group programme to help them get through this traumatic event.

If you have concerns about how your child is coping, please do not hesitate to contact Central Hawke’s Bay Parenting Support Services via www.chbpss.org.nz to see how we can support you and your child.