No doubt, there's no room for "Piggy" or any other nerds trying to get their mitts on the conch shell, the symbol of democracy or should that be "mob rule".
Like it or not, the Bledisloe Cup match this Saturday will detract from the Wallabies versus All Blacks dead rubber in Brisbane.
Salacious it is but the irony is the Beale/Patston impasse is a great snapshot of underlying problems facing not just the Wallabies but the Australian Rugby Union (ARU).
Sure, Beale's group text in June to teammates - and inadvertently to team business manager Patston - is deplorable.
That it came to a head during the team's flight from South Africa to Brazil, en route to Argentina for the Rugby Championship test against the Pumas isn't surprising.
Neither is Patston's resignation or Beale's indefinite suspension pending investigation for what coach Ewen McKenzie classified as "complicated".
No one should have to put up with lewd suggestions about their appearance or where they stand in the desirability stakes.
Without getting into the reported sordid details, suffice it to say Beale's text message to his teammates included the images of two naked obese women intended to be representative of Patston.
It's yet another case of victims of idiot culture, tripping on social-media wire.
The potential rugby league convert and a sobbing Patston exchanged a flurry of texts where she expressed her humiliation and he, regret and sorrow.
It's fair to ask if he is sorry for denigrating her or that he got caught?
I suspect both but doesn't that make all the laughing boys who were receiving the texts just as culpable as Beale?
Was it sexism or simply a tribal disapproval of whatever Patston represented or brought to the altar of reason?
It's inherently undeniable that people can like or dislike someone they co-exist with in their daily rituals.
Even primary schoolchildren will tell you which teacher/pupil is cool and who sucks.
That, unfortunately, can escalate to social media intimidation or violence in high school and university.
Social graders in any code, if they are brutally honest, will confess to enjoying playing alongside some people but coping with others.
Ditto work places.
Preserving the sanctity of a perceived sense of a cordial environment in any team remains a priority, akin to the boys on the island whose deteriorating school uniform was symbolic of the erosion of such values.
The bottom line with the Wallabies is that it's blatantly obvious players didn't like Patston and it's probably a coincidence she's a "fuller female".
Was it because she is McKenzie's Queensland Reds-tainted appointment?
Patston and Beale had a pact of sorts to stay mum on the subject but somewhere along the way the rules of engagement changed.
Adam Ashley-Cooper, who will rack up 100 tests on Saturday, says Beale has the seniors' votes.
The Waratahs utility back is off overseas after next year's World Cup so he can afford to be an advocate.
Captain Michael Hooper has echoed his sentiments.
Frankly, no junior player in his right mind will want to be involved in this mess and neither should he be expected to.
If Beale is the glue for the Wallabies then watch out the All Blacks because that sort of emotion can act as a catalyst for greatness in the face of adversity.
It doesn't look good for McKenzie, especially when he offered to drive her to the airport.
He should have been at the ground with the players, not playing chauffeur.
Patston and McKenzie have vehemently denied there's any amorous liaison between them.
McKenzie claimed he did not find out about the texts until the inflight argument when Patston asked Beale to change his T-shirt to follow team protocol.
However, Beale's agent, Isaac Moses, has claimed McKenzie and Beale chewed fat on the issue in June.
Coaching at a professional level is about keeping egos in check.
Besides, support staff should be like match officials who go almost unnoticed in what should rightly be players' domain.
McKenzie has failed in that respect and that explains why a muster of talent has so far underachieved.
Is that why Beale's role in the team progressively became minimal during the two series?
With another "bad boy" Quade Cooper back in the equation, how on earth is McKenzie going to cope?
The Australian media have since revealed Patston tried to sue an employer in 2003 for hundreds of thousands of dollars amid claims a spider bit her on her upper thigh while she was getting a cuppa.
Further investigation has raised questions about her qualifications although it doesn't help that ARU is unable to disclose her job description.
The ARU integrity unit has got its work cut out and, no doubt, the legal eagles will be swooping in for the kill.
The burning question is: "Will Beale become the scapegoat for the ARU and Wallabies' woes?"
