Ana Apatu: Let's ensure every baby is wanted

Ana Apatu

The cold bites. This is bittersweet for us at Te Aranga Marae because last Monday Rob Findlay's gang installed a Metro Extreme Rad in our wharekai (dining room).

Having barely survived the previous winter with hui and guests braving the cold temperatures in our dining room, an application was made to Eastern Central Community Trust for a fireplace.

For those of you who have been to our marae, you will understand this is a large area to heat. Within 24 hours of the fire being installed and lit, it feels as if the whole room has warmed a couple of degrees. We feel the difference even when we enter the kitchen on the far side of the building. By the time I get to work at 8am the fire is roaring.

The appearance of this fire lifts spirits. We comment how we do not know how we managed without it.

Our morning ritual is to gather round the fire for coffee and to discuss our day. We relocate to sit by the fire for meetings and to do paperwork. It is an extra office space. The team is prepping for the Te Taiwhenua o Heretaunga Kaumatua lunch.

Studies show our elder folk eat more when in company. Social contact is important, for many reasons, and evidence shows how we are more likely to skip meals when living alone.

I can relate to this, having lost my husband, and now live on my own. I miss Jono's cooking terribly. Walking into a house that needs heating, and cooking one's meal every night takes a long time to get used to.

We will have the fire warming this room for our shared lunch with kaumatua tomorrow.

As I drive along Omahu Rd, past the hospital. I can't help but feel uncomfortable with the pro-life group gathered in front of the hospital entrance.

They have "Life love it defend it" placards, with a picture of an unborn child claiming all children are wanted.

Is their purpose to make women feel uncomfortable about choosing to have a termination?

I also feel very uncomfortable seeing men holding these placards. Fertility is such a complex area. Most of us would agree that many pregnancies are an "accident" - for most a wonderful accident - but for some, pregnancies are not a "wonderful accident".

For some women and men faced with an unintended pregnancy, it can be difficult. Fertility is currently a hot topic. During this past week I have listened to discussions about family planning, education in schools and whether we should be teaching youth "hot spots". Also discussed is a proposed "opt out" long-term contraception programme for young women prior to becoming sexually active, to curb our teenage pregnancy rates.

I also heard news articles describing freezing sperm/eggs to access later in life and that they should be made available when ready to have a child.

Physically we are more ideally suited to having a baby in our 20s and perhaps early 30s. However, often we are not financially or otherwise ready for parenthood. Many of us chase a career or financial stability and leave it too late to become pregnant.

Across from the entranceway to the hospital and this pro-life group in Omahu Rd is Directions Youth Health Service. I have recently been appointed chairperson.

My declaration right from being appointed to this board is to improve access for Flaxmere youth. There is agreement to work toward providing an outreach clinic and to improve promotion of these youth services for Flaxmere.

My appointment as chair for the service coincides with the appointment of our (very experienced) manager Jane Wilson, ex-Birthright.

Directions offers a free confidential service for young people up to the age of 24. Ideally as parents we will provide information for our children to make informed decisions. Sexuality, sexual health, sexual orientation and relationships are big things for young people to dealwith.

Directions Youth Health Service offers clinical support with both nurses and doctors, social work services, counselling and support groups, with free transport to and from the clinic. For some parents, we will be proactive and take our teenagers there, or we will make sure our young people are aware of these services and, for some young people, they will choose to delay intimate relationships until later inlife.

Let's ensure our young people are equipped with information and the knowledge to make the best decisions to ensure every baby is a wanted baby.

-Ana Apatu is chief executive of the U-Turn Trust, based at Te Aranga Marae in Flaxmere.