Ana Apatu: Great women inspire gratitude

Ana Apatu.

As I raise my glass of ginger beer to toast my friend Yvonne Stirling's 60th birthday, I reflect on how grateful I am to be able to relax and laugh among a group of wonderful women friends.

This is the second occasion during the week I enjoy women's company and reflect on gratefulness. The first occasion is the Heretaunga Women's Centre annual function. Service manager Margot Wilson's address is based on gratefulness. This speech resonates with me. The women's centre, recently refurbished, is quite beautiful. There is a sense of calm and peace. I am impressed while walking through the rooms to learn of the services the centre offers. From reiki to counselling, legal advice, miri miri/massage, yoga and more. I want to export this centre to Flaxmere.

Deputy mayor Cynthia Bowers describes how the centre started life in 1921 as the Women's Restrooms, where women could come to spend a penny, rest, feed their babies and take lunch with friends.

Later in the week, tucked away at the Mangarara Farms eco-lodge Elsthorpe, a group of us are there to celebrate Yvonne's birthday. All women. We take in our surroundings, looking out over horseshoe lake. The lodge has been lovingly restored from two relocated school prefabs. One side is kitchen and living area split by a sheltered deck area, the other side bedrooms. Clever - those who want to party on will not interrupt those of us who want to sleep. The lodge sleeps 17. The place is heated by an open fire in the living area and a boiler fuelled by wood which heats radiators throughout the building. The lodge has been lovingly restored with macrocapa timber with expansive decks.

We have drinks, settle in and get ready for dinner. We are spoilt. Yvonne's daughters, Monique, Denise and Serena, prepare dinner. Monique, the My Kitchen Rules star, co-ordinates kitchen activities. In other words we are gently told to "stay out". Entrees of tuna are followed by farm-killed lamb and dessert.

During dinner we stand to recount stories, sing, cry and laugh. I first met Yvonne studying naturopathy. Following my nursing training I became a bit despondent with caring for unwell people and thought there must be something more. I was curious about the philosophy of naturopathy or wellness - maintaining good health through healthy eating, exercise, etc. It made sense to be more active or proactive about being well. I went to see a naturopath and was so taken by the experience I immediately studied naturopathy. I became surrounded by women who were interested in iridology, herbs, fasting colonics, reflexology. There were many women during that time who were older and wiser and played a key role for me. Women such as Glenda Palmer with Lotus Holistic Centre teaching massage and reiki, Heidi Kleinschmidt (homeopath), Shelley Hickson (acupuncturist) - there were a group of us women in HB drawn to alternative or complementary medicine. And so this is where my friendship with Yvonne began.

It is interesting not having the social lubricant of alcohol during social events of July. Friends enquire about my "Dry July" - piece of cake. This is my second consecutive Dry July. With a full social calendar during July and five weekends during this July, I briefly contemplated not having a month off the booze. I am surprised by the number of people who tell me they could not go for a month without any alcohol. It's definitely easier this year. Piece of cake.

People ask me if I feel healthier? I must admit my energy levels are up and I do feel a little pleased with myself. My stubbornness is what carries me through. I am also a little surprised Goobs volunteered to do Dry July with me. I intend to break my fast on July 31 to remember my late husband Jono for his birthday.

To conclude, I quote words from the Heretaunga Women's Centre: "A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform."

- Ana Apatu is chief executive of the U-Turn Trust, based at Te Aranga Marae in Flaxmere.