Aggie O'Rourke (left) is visited by Marg Day.
Loneliness now ranks up there with smoking as one of the highest indicators for future ill health. And being a good listener, friendly, open minded and empathetic are high on a different list, one which can help stave off any ill effects those living alone may experience.
Marg Day ticks all
the boxes, becoming an accredited visitor with Age Concern's Accredited Visiting Service (AVS) in Auckland 11 years ago.
AVS is a befriending service which matches older people who are lonely or socially isolated with volunteers who are keen to spend time getting to know them. Volunteers are police checked, trained and spend about an hour each week sharing conversation and activities with their older friend.
In 2017, Marg moved to Hawke's Bay and began visiting Joy, Gwen, Jean and Peggy. Marg says they were all vibrant women who were suffering ill health in their latter years.
"Seeing these lovely ladies, who had once been so active with busy lives and family, deteriorate with health issues was very sad. But I'll always remember their 'joie de vivre' and admire their many strengths and qualities. I'm presently visiting Kath and Aggie, who are great ladies. and it's fantastic to see them overcoming adversities and 'getting on with it' with gusto."
Napier Age Concern AVS coordinator Christine Mulholland says the service offers a safe way for older people to connect in an ongoing one-to-one relationship.
"Client-volunteer matches are made carefully on the basis of personality, shared interests and location.
"Now that Covid-19 restrictions have been lifted to level 1 we have a need to recruit more volunteers. Not surprisingly, our elderly are now yearning company, connection and in-person contact."
Marg says most of the ladies are widows, living alone with deteriorating health. But all had great lives and are "fantastic storytellers".
"I love hearing their stories about their lives growing up in sometimes difficult circumstances and their current interests and hobbies. They are always grateful for a visit and chat. Sometimes it's easier for them to talk with someone other than family."
Marg says she spends her hour with Kath and Aggie sitting and chatting about topical events, news and sometimes have a cuppa.
"But mainly I let them talk about what they want to.
Kath is 95, living alone with home help, her children all overseas, but has a lot of social contact with friends through the bowling club and the Enliven Centre.
Aggie is 88, living alone with children nearby who keep an eye on her and help with shopping, firewood, etc. But she is still very independent, albeit with deteriorating health, Marg says.
"They are both very optimistic, enjoy a chat, a good laugh and have had very full lives. I think we have great relationships considering I have only been visiting them a relatively short time."
Marg says their lives have been so interesting and inspiring, from living through a war to travelling the world.
"I only hope I am doing so well at their age. I think it's about having an optimistic attitude to life."
She believes sometimes an elderly person living alone just needs a friendly chat and someone to share their thoughts and ideas with.
"They still have a voice and an opinion, but are so often dismissed in our busy lives. Age Concern does a wonderful job facilitating this voluntary service. I very much enjoy the company of the 'oldies' — they have so much knowledge to impart and I will continue visiting and learning from them in the years to come. There's always room for a good chat and a laugh at any age. After all, isn't laughter the best medicine?"
• If you are interested in becoming an AVS Volunteer, contact Christine at Age Concern Napier on 842 1531