Roger Moroney: Time to bring on pay-as-you-view

Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon set forth on an entertaining tour of England's northern restaurants on Maori TV this weekend.

Oh yes, in a perfect world.

In a perfect world there would be a thing called pay-as-you-view television.

Like the cable thing the Americans have toyed with for years.

A process where if you possess pay/subscription television, in the case around these parts that's Sky, you get billed for the amount of time you actually watch it.

Not for the dozen or more pointless channels you'll never even want to happen upon even by accident, but which you have to pay for as they form "the package".

That's not fair.

It's like buying a car you want to use and being given three scooters you don't need nor want to use but which you have to pay for anyway.

You watch a couple of docos and a few sports events and a movie or two and that's that - that's all you should get billed for.

Yep, in a perfect world you should be able to choose what channels you would like to subscribe to.

The way it is now is like subscribing to a magazine or website and then getting all the tag-on stuff attached to them that you just don't want.

Of course, the answer would be, in a perfect world, to teach them a lesson and say that's it, I shall unsubscribe.

Which might make one feel rather pompous in a "take that" type of way until the live rugby fronts up or the motorcycle racing sparks into life.

Or Jimmy Carr is set to go crazy over on UKTV with 8 Out of 10 Cats or the old lads from Last of the Summer Wine emerge on Jones.

Then you'd sort of go "mmmm" as you realise the choice you have is limited to adventures in a kitchen or the high seas seeking a bite from a snapper.

So you decide to go outside and trim those edges out the front then realise it's raining.

Before you know it, you're on the phone to the 0800 number which puts you through to India or Sri Lanka or wherever Sky has it's subscription centre.

Oh well, you probably saved $7 for the three days you didn't have it.

And in a perfect world you wouldn't have so many infuriating stoppages during shows for promos and sales pitches but, as we all know, this is far from a perfect world.

Okay, that's my axe well ground, that's my spleen vented.

But here's an upside away from the cost of viewing.

The pick of the week from where I'm sitting comes from the more regular side of televisiondom.

The free view side, if you like.

As it often does, Maori TV rolls out some fine films at fine times, and Sunday is no exception with the appearance of Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon (two of the driest and funniest chaps doing the rounds) in a sort of reality/not-quite-reality outing called The Trip.

The viewer effectively becomes the fly on the wall as Coogan and Brydon set out to visit some of the finest restaurants in the north of England.

Coogan, who was contracted by The Observer to carry out the reviews, had initially figured it would be a great little tour for he and his girlfriend, although at the last minute she decides not to go so he offers the spare place to his mate, Rob.

They are good chums who have the ability to take in and cast sharp and funny opinions on everyday events, and other people, but they also have the hilarious ability to wind each other up.

It is played straight down the line and is a mixture of documentary and taking the mickey usually out of each other.

These lads are genuinely entertaining and are not afraid to show their age with their middle-age inspired opinions, doubts and observations.

It is a good watch and, hey, it's free.

-The Trip, Maori TV at 8.30pm Sunday: This went so well for the lads, as they traded superb one-liners as well as expansive personal philosophies, that they followed it up with a trip to Italy. They are a unique double act and, at the end of the restaurant-visiting adventure, you'll probably start considering the north of England as a fine spot to explore.