After their relationship broke up, the man’s former girlfriend told his opponents in Family Court proceedings about a one-off sexual liaison between him and his biological mother when he was an adult.
That girlfriend was the only person in whom he had ever confided about the matter and he only did so because he had wanted to be honest and open in their relationship, the court was told.
Her breach of his confidence became clear when the liaison was raised against him during a custody battle in the family court and was acknowledged by him in a response affidavit.
His former girlfriend then somehow managed to get hold of that affidavit, which she took to police.
She was not a party to the Family Court proceedings and should not have had access to documents from them, Judge Bolstad said.
The judge noted counsel Leighvi Maynard had rightly advised the man of his ability to challenge the use of such documents and the validity of the charge.
However, irrespective of that strong legal position, the man wanted to plead guilty on the basis that he accepted what had happened.
Judge Bolstad said she “strongly suspected” he did so as part of a “healing process” as he came to terms with trauma he had suffered because of the liaison.
“Your counsel has accurately described it as you being victimised here by not only your biological mother but also by your ex-partner,” the judge said.
Knowing throughout his life that he was adopted, the man later chose to trace his biological parents and was in his early 20s when he first met his birth mother.
The pair stayed in contact and about 10 years later had reason to spend a few weeks together. It coincided with a low point in the man’s life when he had work issues, had just quit a dysfunctional relationship and was not getting on with his adopted parents.
He got the inclination his mother had other interests in him.
Their liaison happened near the end of their time together.
The man said he felt “disgusted” and couldn’t understand why he had done what he did.
Out of embarrassment he didn’t tell anyone until he got into a relationship with his now ex-girlfriend.
Due to some specific employment training she had had, he thought she might have been a good support for him.
Judge Bolstad said: “This is an important matter that’s come to the court’s attention in an unconventional way and raises some concerns for me.”
The police hadn’t received a complaint from the man’s biological mother but via his ex-girlfriend and the document she should not have had.
“She wasn’t a party to those proceedings, raising questions as to how she got a copy of the affidavit and, of course, from my perspective, an ability to use its contents in these proceedings.”
Considering the application for a discharge without conviction, the judge noted the man had no previous convictions and that a conviction of this type would specifically affect his ability to maintain some aspects of his employment.
The offence was at the lower end of the scale for such offending.
The judge was satisfied a legal test for the discharge application was met — that the consequences of such a conviction would be out of all proportion to the gravity of the offending in this case.
The Crown agreed the discharge would be appropriate if the court made that finding.
Judge Bolstad said: “As acknowledged by both counsel, this is an unusual set of circumstances — unusual because it involves two consenting adults as opposed to an adult and child, so there is no power imbalance.
”It’s of an historical nature and it’s also offending that’s clearly impacted on you and you’ve been undergoing counselling to address the trauma involved for you.”
Through that counselling the man had since become aware of research focusing on a phenomenon of genetic sexual attraction that could occur in situations like his.
“In my view you’ve taken responsibility and held your head high to try to understand what happened to you and you’ve grown in character and stature as a result,” the judge said.
“It’s taken courage . . . and I encourage you to walk with your head high.”
