A meeting of the body corporate: thoughts on importance

A109 Light Utility Helicopter flight with mayor Gisborne City from the air in November 2023.

Opinion

Consciousness cleared its throat and smacked the gavel down. “I call this meeting to order. I have noticed rumblings within the body corporate and I wish to remind everyone that I am in command here. Do I make myself clear?”

“Pompous ass,” whispered right lung, the spokesperson for the gaseous exchange team, “without us he is nothing”.

“Huh, you big head, without my team, you wouldn’t last long,” stomach burst out angrily. Despite challenges from oesophagus, it deemed itself the self-appointed head of the digestive/processing section. Small intestine nodded in assent.

Heart, who was never still and was a director of the circulation group, snorted — “Try and survive without us sending blood around the circuit, then.”

Kidney and his twin, always sat with bladder and bowels, as part of the elimination strategies cohort. He was quite flushed and after a few speechless moments, opined, “expect trouble if we go off line folks”.

Bladder slurped angrily, because it could not discharge its obligation fully, due to the restricting behaviour of prostate, who was behaving uncooperatively. Bowels went red, but just gurgled menacingly.

Down the end of the table sat two, who were almost always ignored.

Unprepossessing, but vital cogs in the functioning of the body corporate. After summoning his courage, anal sphincter exploded loudly. “We are all part of a team guys.” A stunned silence settled, as anal sphincter’s outburst hung in the air. Urinary sphincter dribbled quietly, but could only say “Hear Hear”, as it always had trouble expressing itself adequately.

The lizard brain/endocrine/nervous system clique, clad in their customary white coats, maintained a haughty silence, as if they felt all this basic plumbing was beneath their consideration.

Skin made the final comment, “I think I have covered everything.”

The meeting was closed, by Consciousness, in its usual imperious, dictatorial fashion and all the participants grumpily went off to argue amongst themselves over their status, and efficiency ratings.

Ron Taylor