Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Zealand (BBBS) is a supervised mentoring programme which matches adults (18 and over) with young people (6-12yrs).
Jill White and her husband Ernie were the first two mentors in Gisborne to sign up to the Big Brothers Big Sisters programme last year and they couldn’t recommend it more highly.
They had been caring for their grandson for several years until he moved in with his father so they suddenly had time on their hands and wanted to fill it with something worthwhile.
“We had all this time and energy and thought there should be someone we can give it to that would help in some way. So this came up at the perfect time,” Jill says.
Jill was matched with nine-year-old Hineari who she meets up with every Sunday to spend a couple of hours together.
They have a long list of activities they do, from crafting to cooking, and both look forward to their weekly meetings.
“It’s just so much fun. We both get something out of it and it’s a really magical experience.
“She likes crafty things and cooking and we’ve been on picnics and to the Botanical Gardens to collect leaves which we have pressed.
“For the first three months you are not able to take them to your home. It has to be activities out in public. Once she was allowed to come to my house that broadened the scope of what we could do.
“She is always so happy to see me and is literally bouncing up and down when I pick her up.”
“Her mum said Hine wakes up every morning and asks if it is Sunday yet.”
Ernie has been matched with 11-year -old Manaia and they too do activities on a Sunday. They tend to do things like fishing, playing mini-golf, boogie boarding and playing chess together.
“Their bond is definitely forming but it’s taken a few Sundays to get back into the rhythm of it after the Christmas break,” Jill says.
“I would totally recommend the programme – it gives you so much more than the effort you put in.
“You really feel like you’re making a difference to someone and it’s not a big thing that you’re doing – just an hour or two once a week.”
Jill describes her relationship with Hineari as more like a grandmother/granddaughter connection.
“I hope our relationship carries on as she becomes an adult because I would love to be part of her life going forwards. I almost look at her as part of our family now.”
Father of two Rhys Hopkins joined the BBBS programme last November and has been matched up with 12-year-old Khiyahn.
“He’s an outgoing kid and we get up to heaps of cool stuff – like bridge jumping and kayaking, and I take him to the gym,” Rhys says.
“I’m not there to discipline him or anything like that — I’m there to show him a good time and do some interesting things together. Hopefully he learns some life lessons while we’re out there doing stuff.”
Rhys and Khiyahn tend to meet up on weekends and spend a few hours together. Rhys usually checks in with his caregiver the night before to find a suitable time for him to take Khiyahn out.
“He enjoyed the kayaking and the bridge jump and he’s into his health so he’s keen to go to the gym for workouts.
“He’s really keen to do stuff so we’ve planned to go to the Rere rockslide on the next fine weekend because he has never been. He’s up for the challenge. I told him I’d do a back flip off the bridge and did it – and then he followed with his own back flip so he definitely steps up to the plate and gives his all.”
Rhys said they were getting to know one another and liked coming up with new activities to do together and making plans.
“If it’s an indoor day he’s keen to learn how to cook chicken wings – and he likes spicy food like me.”
The mentors and their young charges are meeting for a celebratory BBQ this Sunday and Rhys is looking forward to talking to some of the other volunteers.
He has a friend who does it too and is always trying to recruit other mates who he thinks would enjoy the programme.
“There’s a guy who is a keen hunter and we’re hoping to go out with him one weekend.
“For me it’s only around three hours out of the week and it’s pretty laid back. You’re just someone for them to hang out with.”
Rhys is a positive role model and tries to show Khiyahn there are lots of opportunities out there.
“He’s had a few challenges in his life and I want to show him it’s not all doom and gloom.”
As a tradie himself who works in telecommunications, Rhys has talked to Khiyahn about the advantages of learning a trade when he grows up so he can make a decent living.
“Being in the Big Brother programme is a great thing for guys to do and I try to encourage my mates who are already good parents to do it.
“It’s only a year-long commitment and I would totally recommend it.”
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Gisborne Tairāwhiti has 11 mentors so far but would like to grow that number to around 20.
“You don’t need any special qualifications. We are looking for people who are passionate about igniting youth potential,” Tiffany says.
Mentors receive training and professional support and BBBS staff are involved throughout, providing ongoing support and accountability to ensure the mentoring match is as safe and strong as it can be.
“I love the kaupapa of Big Brothers Big Sisters and the fact there’s a lot of data showing how beneficial it can be for children, not to mention how rewarding it is for the mentors too,” Tiffany says.
To find out more, people can contact Tiffany Zyp at tiffany@bigbrothersbigsisters.org.nz
