Peter was almost 90 when he first heard himself described as a "hustler".
All in jest, of course – the teasing barb was uttered by his mates, John and Bob, over Peter's prowess at the game of darts at Bupa Totara Gardens retirement Village in Whangarei.
"Peter's a novice," explains 83-year-old Bob. "He's also the best of us." John says: "I think we've been hustled."
"Sometimes they miss," jokes 89-year-old Peter who admits he'd never played the game before meeting up with Bob and John at Totara Gardens. His mates crack up at this witticism – and in doing so reveal the true nature of their interplay. They are darts players, yes, but that isn't really the point (if you'll forgive the pun). They are firm friends.
The trio had never met each other before Totara Gardens but are now buddies after they decided to give darts a go (every Tuesday, 2pm). So while their story partly points to the activities available at places like Bupa's Totara Gardens, it is mainly about friendship and the ability to make friends at such a village.
"I met John on my first day here," says Bob. "I decided to go for a walk and met him then."
When they met up with Peter, the idea of playing darts cropped up. All three are married and admit the wives probably enjoy the men getting out from under their feet with their darts and other activities they pursue together.
They have only been playing darts together since about April – and say they are a long way away from playing in a league or even in any kind of competition against other retirement villages: "Oh, we are nowhere near that," says John. "It's just a bit of fun".
![Bob & Peter. Photo/Supplied](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/resizer/v2/GIEZ6PR6524ET2G3GPAE2TGJBA.jpg?auth=e740886fbd5e974dd2b54ce1f22e4ca4bdddfd3c79704ff93067313998dd7727&width=16&height=11&quality=70&smart=true)
It's also what might be called a door-opener. Moving into a retirement village is not always simple. Many do not know anyone else there and, for some, meeting people is not always easy.
However, if there was a Bupa national competition for the words most often heard in their retirement villages, it might be: "People are just so friendly".
Which was what Bob discovered. "I think when you come to a place like this, it's a matter of your own personal attitude. You have to be open-minded and open to things – but people here are very good and I found it enjoyable from the start."
Peter: "I had no problem at all but you just have to be able to join in – it takes a little effort but that's all." John: "We were just about the first into this village and everyone here is so pleased to be here, it makes it easy [to make friends]."
Friendship, as we all know, is a vital part of life. According to Harvard Medical School research, it goes deeper than that – having good friends not only gives pleasure, they also influence long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking.
Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. Conversely, lack of strong relationships can increase the risk of premature death from all causes.
At the moment, the Bob-Peter-John darts competition takes place in a villa converted to be a temporary community centre/happy hour venue/darts hall. Totara Gardens are preparing a new administration block and community centre for the village. It will be, says Bob, a bigger area with room for a pool table "and maybe indoor bowls".
Such places are essential in village life, Bob says. "They are where you can easily meet people."
What's impressive about these three is the smiles that play across their faces when they are talking. You can tell they are not only mates, relaxed in each other's company, but also relaxed by their surroundings; at ease in the village.
"When we first came here," says Bob, "we went to a couple of morning teas and happy hour – and it was fairly quiet. Then, as people got to know each other, it grew [in numbers and noise].
"Three or four times after that, every time you walked in to morning tea or happy hour, there'd be this great big hubbub of conversation going on. There still is."
For more information: bupa.co.nz