KEY POINTS:
An old cliche says the past is another country. That can be taken literally in the American remake of Life on Mars which started on TV3 last night, featuring Detective Sam Tyler's retro-transplant from England to New York.
In the much-lauded earlier British series, England in 1973 was drab and depressed, but the characters were colourful. In last night's opener, New York looked bright but some vital satirical punch has been sucked out of the eccentricities which made the series so sharp in the first place.
The opening set the tone. Present-day Sam (blandly handsome Irish actor Jason O'Mara) was driving around with his cop colleague girlfriend Maya, played by the ever-irritating Lisa Bonet, arguing about something to do with her parents. Those Noo Yawk accents can be difficult to decipher sometimes.
The crime du jour involved a serial killer called Colin, who kidnapped young women, held them for 30 hours, then strangled them. They brought Colin in but had to free him because security footage "proved" he was in another city gambling at the time of the latest crime. Too late, the cops discovered he had a gambling addict twin. Headstrong Maya rang Sam to say she was following Colin, then she vanished. Distraught Sam must find her. Then he got hit by a car and woke up in 1973, Bowie's Life on Mars playing on a tinny tape inside an old car.
"I was driving a Jeep," he told the traffic cop who objected to his parking. "You were driving a military vehicle?" the cop demanded, suspiciously. Predictably, Sam's befuddled 2008 head spun round to take in the 1973 view - of the Twin Towers.
For those of us who followed the British series, the scenario was pretty much so far, so formulaic, just in a different setting. Sam did his nut at police HQ, where he came up against new boss, Gene Hunt, played mutely by Harvey Keitel, accessorised by white shoes and a flapping fan. Comparisons are odious but Keitel comes nowhere, at this stage, on the menace-charisma scale as his British counterpart, Philip Glenister. Surprising, given his OTT Bad Lieutenant notoriety.
However, it was highly amusing to see Michael Imperioli (Christopher from The Sopranos) revelling in a hideous Zappa moustache and effortless lines like, "I have an ass that can fart the melody of every Peter, Paul and Mary song ever recorded."
Sam had only been in New York for one day but there was work to be done - a kidnapper on the prowl, with a pattern of holding women for 30 hours before he kills them. Of course! It must have something to do with Colin. Sam and Hunt found the killer, living next door to young Colin, who idolised the creep and would copy his behaviour 30 years on. Sam fingered his gun as he spoke to the boy.
If he killed him now, would Maya be saved? Do we want to see any more of Lisa Bonet?
This first episode of Life On Mars felt cautious, with much of the dialogue devoted to signposting references to things that hadn't been invented yet, like cellphones and Diet Coke.
Amazingly, all of the music was British, which was lazy. It could have been made much more interesting with American rock from the times.
Imperioli is certainly the most interesting character but as he is not the leading man, that's bad news for Sam's alleged existential wrestling. And the sight of Keitel squinting as he delivers the occasional limp punch in the guts doesn't cut it. He definitely needs to be more of a bad lieutenant.